achievements

Where Has My Core Gone?

~ morethanamara ~ Leave a comment

I started this blog purely to get my thoughts down, use my brain creatively and if anything share the message that if I can run… ANYONE CAN.

Since falling pregnant and then subsequently giving birth to a rather large healthy boy I started to turn my thoughts to “How can I get back into running?” Which then turned into, “How can I lose the baby weight I gained?” This then ultimately turned into, “How do I lose my Mum Tum?”

But why?

Recently (the last few months) I have been super quiet on the writing front. This is because bringing up a small human takes every minute of every day and all my brain power.

The running is still there, just less frequent. But I’m still running regularly.

Why?

Because it’s what I do. I ran before and I want to run now. Not for weight loss, not for my size, not because society expects us to “spring back” into shape and not because it’s January.

I am a runner and I like to run.

I have tried to write a few times, and it’s come out as something about my size and weight.

To which I have then deleted.

Again, Why?

Why do we as women feel the need to justify our bodies to the world? Why do we feel, especially after having a baby, the need to “spring back” into shape.

Over the last 8 months since giving birth I have swayed between being completely comfortable with my body, to looking in the mirror and wondering where my body has gone. (This is after someone asked me how I intended to lose the baby weight?)

If you can give birth and slip straight into your pre pregnancy clothes, I salute you.

If like me, your body is a different shape or size, and the pre pregnancy clothes are not quite making it up your thighs I salute you too.

Either way you need to remember your body went through a major transformation and produced another human. It takes time to heal, and everyone is different.

To use a running pun… it’s a marathon not a sprint.

I can currently just about make it round a 10km run without collapsing at the end, this is tough to get my brain around after the many marathons and ultra marathons I have completed. However, I know for now, it’s ok for my body.

And what you do with yours is ok for you.

My main message here is give yourself a little self love and time. If you feel like getting out there then do, I can completely recommend exercise for the feel good factor, but don’t put the pressure on yourself.

And if you feel like staying in the warm and resting, I can completely recommend that too!

I was asked yesterday, whilst attempting sit ups, where has my core gone? And right on cue… my 8 month old son crawled past smiling.

THAT IS WHERE MY CORE IS.

And doesn’t it look bloody happy over there!

The Mum Tum Run

~ morethanamara ~ Leave a comment


After completing a 5km run this morning, that resulted in a face stuck on a vibrant shade of beetroot for about 5 hours after, I felt the need to review my running so far since starting my slow but steady come back.

I have learnt a few things I thought I should share when it comes to running post pregnancy.

It’s not just your body that changes, but your mindset too.

Firstly my body.

I have never been a super duper skinny runner. This is one of the massive perks of running: you can be any size or shape you god damn want!

However, as my body expanded through pregnancy to the size of a small country, it’s not only bigger than it was, but also far wobblier than ever before. So the key to making sure I don’t feel like a bag of jelly plodding along? Wear supportive kit!

I contemplated vacuum packing myself into it, but have settled for a respectable pair of running tights, a good fitting sports bra (x 2), and a running top that doesn’t ride up into a crop top as soon a I set off.

On my feet, a supportive pair of trainers rather than the barefoot runners I wore pre pregnancy. More cushion for the feet is key here to soften the blow of the extra weight on the ground. And my joints.

I touched on the subject of the sports bra situation in my last post. Still currently wearing double the support in the form of two over shoulder boulder holders. This seems to be working nicely as the mammaries stay firmly put and so far so good with no movement, pain and no issues with milk production being affected after they are compressed. Any sports bra wearing ladies will know though, getting out of a sweaty sports bra can be tough going, getting out of two is even tougher and requires a lot of leverage. (And a Crane).

The top I have been wearing is all but loose. This is for a number of reasons.

Since being pregnant I have turned into a walking furnace. No matter the time of day, the weather or what I am wearing, I am at a body temperature of an active volcano, so wearing a loose fitting top not only hides a multitude of wobbly bits but keeps me cool. Comfort is key here, and running while having to pull down a tight top that rides up over the Mum Tum is just not fun or productive.

For the Mum Tum situation my running tights have been all but amazing at helping secure everything in place. I have ensured they are high waisted, and this then acts as the support needed for my stomach.

Yep it’s still there. A lot smaller than it was now William is on the outside, however it’s also not as firm. At all. I had an emergency C section and this has created a small indent along the scar, which then created a slight overhang of delightfully decorated skin, scattered with a small selection of stretch marks. Yippee! 

Now, please let me outline a few things about my Mum Tum.

I am ridiculously proud of it! I mean, my tummy grew a human! How cool is that!?! So giving it some extra support is all I can do when wanting to exercise.

The running tights come up high enough that my tummy is firmly in place and as these last weeks have shown me, it also means my stomach is wobbling less each time I run.

We will skim over the “but what knickers are you wearing?!”… however I do wear them when running. (Lot’s of my running friends don’t due to chaffing however I like the extra security). The two things I have learnt from todays run when it comes to this: no camels come looking for their toes and I am now another size smaller in said knickers, which I see as progress towards running my body back into shape.

Now my mind.

I have spent many a year, worrying and obsessing over my weight. I once even used running as a way to keep my weight below a healthy balance for my frame. (All I learnt from this was I was bloody miserable).

Over the years I have learnt that my body is meant to be a certain shape, and a certain size. I also learnt that once I found that size I was able to achieve running goals I never thought I would. I have learnt to appreciate what I put into my body, and with some dedication (and a lot of sweat) and appreciation to the sport I have gone on to achieve more than I ever thought I would.

I now have a new appreciation for my body when it comes to running. I appreciate and am grateful it gave me this wonderful gift in the shape of a now very chubby baby, but I also appreciate I need to look after it more than ever because of him.

I am determined to run and exercise as its what makes me me, however my driver is my gorgeous baby boy. I will do it slowly but surely, I will laugh (and write about the jelly belly and thunder thighs) and have fun as I do so. I will have a bit of me time now and then, and I will appreciate every step I can take.

My post pregnancy running journey will take time, “it’s a marathon, not a sprint” as they say. But this wobbly, plodding Mum is determined!

There will be days I look in the mirror and wish I had the runners body I used to have, but most days, I will look in the mirror, be grateful I can still run, see my Mum Tum and love it.

 

 

 

 

 

Run: Mummy: Run?

~ morethanamara ~ Leave a comment

Whilst standing there in the changing room, top off, mammaries out, with kind old ‘Brenda of the Bra Department’  holding out the next sports bra for me to try, I suddenly felt a strange tingling sensation in my boobs.

(Nope wasn’t Brenda causing it)

I look down and wow… there are two fountains of milk literally pouring out of me, down my tummy, and onto the floor. (Aptly named Squirty Squirty Left Boob is actually out in full force and cascading down the mirror.)

Question: If my boobs can’t cope with 5 mins out of the breast pads how will they ever cope running along in a race?

Will I EVER run again?

After nearly 8 years of running I would normally worry about chafing, or blisters, or even sweat patches (That cause the chafing or blisters).

Race prep would be carbo loading, route planning and picturing crossing the finish line in one piece.

And here I am, after running 1000s of miles, standing in a changing room debating how I am going to carry my new feeding machines round just 5km the very next day.

FYI I’ve had a gorgeous baby, his name is William and he is a 7 week old breast feeding milk machine that we love dearly. (And ran a half marathon 3 days before I realised he was on his way).

You may have seen from a previous blog I ran up to just before 28 weeks pregnant. I loved it. But as the pregnancy progressed so did my weight gain, hot flushes, toilet stops increased and generally I felt like an ever expanding waddling walrus (picture it).

So running 1000s of km was put on hold while my womb expanded bringing our bundle of joy into the world.

Fast forward to 7 weeks postpartum and I am eager to get back out there. (If you are my doctor please stop reading now. I am fully aware my 8 week check is a week away.)

I did have an emergency C section, so my decision to attempt a run hasn’t come lightly. The last few weeks I have been walking daily to build up to this. I have been careful to select clothing that didn’t aggravate my scar in anyway and I have made sure I have kept a close eye on the healing process.

This has involved wearing knickers my nan would be proud of, along with an array of trousers MC Hammer is sure to ask for soon.

So these pre run worries are more, how will I  strap everything in? Coupled with what effect has pregnancy had on my body? Will I remember how to run?

The second question is the most important and the biggest to get my head round. My memory tells me I can just walk out the door and run. However I know I have a long way to go, and my fitness isn’t the same. (Worth it though William!)

So the challenge begins, with a local 5km round the park to see how I fair.

Once I had stopped the fountain of milk leakage and selected the two bras I was going to have to wear. (Yes you read right). I was going to wear two, I had all the gear and no idea.

Armed with my new kit I headed home to work out how on earth I was going to be at the start for 9am? How I would feel? What about my pregnancy weight gain? I haven’t lost it all yet, (unfortunately not one of those that just ping back to pre pregnancy shape).

Should I run with William and the pram?

I didn’t actually run with William or the pram.

William watched with his Dad while eating a bacon sandwich. (His dad not him.)

At the start I pitched myself, my two bras and my “Mum Tum” towards the back of the field. I told myself I can run the flat and walk the hills. Thats a start right? And this isn’t far off a technique I have used in the later stages of an ultra. I was thinking like a runner already?! (My baby brain had retained some information after all!)

Annnnnnnnd we were off.

One foot actually moved in front of the other and I was still breathing! I was really running. The first km came and went. My legs felt good, I took it steady and I felt like I was really back. I HAD MISSED THIS.

About half way I was suddenly conscious of how I really felt, and it certainly wasn’t as fit as I used to be. I was breathing hard and all I could do was think will I actually make it?!

Doubt set in! Had I tried this too soon?  I have run 100km how can I struggle so much with just 5? My weight gain since falling pregnant was slowing me down.

I gained a grand total of 4 stone while pregnant!! William was a healthy 9lb baby and I suffered from Polyhydramnios (Extra fluid). Ive since lost 2.5 Stone naturally and the next 1.5 stone is hanging around my trusty thunder thighs.

It was these thunder thighs that were feeling heavy, and plodding along was the way forward.

But that’s the thing. I was still moving forward. Albeit rather slowly, (borderline backwards) but I was still going.

Just like when I ran at 27 weeks pregnant I was at the back of the pack. (Party at the back as they say!). There was a really supportive bunch around me, whilst I walked the hills, all throwing supportive phrases my way and to each other.  There was only 2 hills but on that second lap I was sure they had got steeper!

I eventually made it to the home straight… I found the energy to get my Mum Tum in gear and move along a little quicker. With the finish line in sight I plodded along and finally made it!

(Thank goodness).

Now this 5km wasn’t about time and how quickly I could get round. It was about actually making it round. It was about doing something I love that makes me, me. It was about appreciating that my body has gone through a massive change and is in a different place right now. Appreciating more than ever my thunder thighs, my new Mum Tum and my abilities.

My body made it!

Afterwards I headed straight for the car. Awaiting for me was my gorgeous boy with his gorgeous Daddy ready to take me home. I got in the car, beetroot faced, sweaty, undid my two bras and thought…

SHE’S BACK.

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Hannah: Your first marathon: Making The Breast Of It

~ morethanamara ~ Leave a comment


An open letter to my younger sister:

Dear Hannah,

Just one more sleep to go until you make the 26.2 mile journey around London, on foot.

You’ve got your race number, you have your timing chip and your kit.

You’ve run and run and run over these last few months no matter what has been thrown at you.

You’ve completed the main race already and tomorrow is just your victory lap.

It’s emotional.

Your brain is currently going over and over everything you have done or not done and analysing every single step you have taken since the “You’re In!” Magazine dropped through the door.

It’s just your brain playing tricks.

For you, at times, this happens more than most. Your brain will tell you can’t but in your heart you know you can.

Your body has come so far, because you have looked after it. It has changed and morphed into the body that will carry you to the finish line.

You have gone against the self doubt, and become stronger than you will ever realise.

Remind yourself how strong you are, when you think to finishing the races you have completed along the way.

They are more than the medals you have received, they are huge leaps in your confidence and your body showing you what you can really do.

The 21 miles you went off and ran, just like that, because you had trained to do so, was the confirmation you are ready for tomorrow.

When your mind is playing tricks, recall on how you felt when you saw how much distance you had crossed.

Tell yourself that no matter what has gone on, at home, at work or life in general, you are still here and you are doing it.

You are and will be in the 1% of the whole population that has completed a marathon.

You will have the blisters, the aches, the pains to show for it.

But the memories and the knowledge will stay with you for the rest of your life.

Your body will forget one day what you have put it through, but your brain will thank you forever for what you have achieved.

The marathon isn’t for everyone, but applying yourself to a mammoth task, takes time, strength and discipline.

You have all of these.

You’re doing it to support the Women around you. You’re doing it to show others that Breast Cancer will be beaten.

But ultimately you will do this, and show yourself, you’re more powerful and stronger than you think.

No matter what anyone else may say, you are ready.

Keep your mind clear, your heart open and your feet moving.

You will never forget how it feels to cross that line.

You deserve the world and tomorrow it is your day.

Love always,

Jenny

“There will be days you don’t think you can run a marathon, but a lifetime of knowing you have”